One house + two tea enthusiasts = a whole lot of (lightly) caffeinated madness

That's right, folks. Your Tea Exchange bloggers are now residing under the same roof. As anyone who's ever shared a house will attest, one of the first steps to cohabitation harmony is the merging of the possessions--figuring out who has the least warped frying pan, whose posters best match the hand-me-down furniture, and how the heck you ended up with 15 coffee mugs and not a can opener between you.

Perhaps most important is the merging of the tea. In our case, the tea consolidation resulted in an entire tea cabinet filled with everything from your Lady Gray to your Cinnamon Apple Spice. This is a crucial step in the moving process. If it turns out that your favorite teas wouldn't speak to each other if they met at a party, perhaps you're just not compatible. I hate to stereotype by tea, but there must be a correlation between what you drink and the way you approach life. After all, tea is a contemplative medium. I'm sure the study of teaology would tell us a great deal about this world we precariously inhabit.

But Karen, you might be saying, I don't drink tea! I have my double shot latte every morning--low foam, no whip, extra hot, grande but in a venti cup--and so does everyone I know. What's with this obsession with tea? Where's our coffee-ology? To you I say this: firstly, stop talking to your computer. Your roommate will think you've lost it. Secondly, we leaf enthusiasts have seceded time and time again to the followers of the bean. Thanks to the Starbucks pandemic, a long and illustrious history of tea drinking has been reduced to a three dollar tea bag plopped unceremoniously in a paper cup. Surely this was not what our colonial forefathers had in mind! Surely when they threw the Boston Tea Party (the Studio 54 of its day) to defend their right to smuggle tea from other, less well-armed colonial nations, Joe Schmo didn't turn to the dude next to him and say, "Gee, this is fun. I hope someday people will toast our law-breaking with a nice vanilla latte!"

Perhaps I digress. Such is the way of the tea--dark and murky most of the time, but when you finally get down to the bottom there's a prophetic lump of leafy remains that looks like the angel of death, or your great-uncle's head, depending on how you look at it.

My point? Ah, yes, teaology: the study of psychic forces beyond our control which cause us to reach for the Darjeeling or the Cranberry Passionfruit Explosion. A mostly made-up philosophy, much like astrology or Scientology, it may soon become all the rage among Hollywood's elite. And you can tell everyone that you were into teaology before it was cool, you trend-watcher you.

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Which flavor are YOU?? Read on to find out!

CEYLON
"A brisk, sweet taste with a hint of citrus, in a brightly colored presentation."
You move fast and smile a lot, especially at babies and strangers who trip in public. Take some time to unwind, perhaps in a bathtub full of Smirnoff Lemon. You may need to tone it down in the wardrobe department--the satin parachute pants worked for MC Hammer, but the neighbors are starting to stare.

DARJEELING
"Flavor changes with the season. Served with lemon, no cream."
You like to reinvent yourself every few months, from that stint as goth princess to the short-lived vegan fiasco of ought-four (you freaked when you realized they eat some weird shit). People are intrigued, but don't feel they know the real you. Try speaking your inner monologue aloud, or interrupting conversations to announce how your lunch is digesting.

EARL GREY
"The second most popular tea in the world."
You think you're hot stuff, but have a sneaking suspicion that people are onto your game. That quiet guy in the bar won't even oggle you, and you walked past him twice! Take a chill pill and remember that you don't have to be best at everything. Besides, real winners are the ones who peaked in high school and get progressively less attractive as their 9-5 office jobs slowly suck their souls dry--so cheer up!

LADY GREY
"Lighter and more citrusy, a favorite among those who enjoy what Earl Grey has to offer."
It's hard to live in The Man's shadow, but you've got a plan--it involves rabid hyenas and a strategically placed block of cheese, but you think it's got potential. In the meantime, stay true to your bubbly persona or people will begin to worry. Keep a helium balloon handy to raise your voice an octave or two when that evil cackle starts to creep in.

ENGLISH BREAKFAST
"A delightful tea, popular in the UK, usually associated with the early hours of the day."
With dry wit and a sharp tongue, you manage to discreetely ridicule those around you and leave them thinking how charming you are (that cute foreign accent you've been practicing helps, too). Now it's time to pick up an unusual hobby--fire eating, perhaps, or deciphering 12th-century runes--and use it in conversation to make people feel ever so slightly inferior. Pip pip cheerio, and all that.

CHAMOMILE
"A mild bouquet that’s reminiscent of apples. Often used for stress relief."
You're so laid back, you sometimes spend, like, DAYS just lying around.... meditating.... rubbing strange-smelling oils on whoever happens to be lying nearby.... Good for you, but remember there's a world outside. A fast-moving, slightly scary world where people wear suits and drive SUVs and don't always eat organic. Just take a big hit of something mellow and give it a try.

GREEN
"Light and grassy or bright and oceany. Chock-full of powerful antioxidents."
You're the mom we all wish we had but would actually have fought with all the time because, well, that's what you do with moms. You know what's best for everyone and aren't afraid to say it. Just remember that breaking and entering is still a crime, regardless of whether you were just replacing all the worn-out toothbrushes with new ones.

PEPPERMINT
"Brisk, refreshing, and invigorating."
You're just so cheery! All of the time! Everyone at the office likes you and is your best friend because you're just so nice and never forget to ask how their vacation in the Bahamas was! Too bad no one ever remembers to ask how you are because you would have SUCH a great answer, too: "Super duper, thanks!" You might want to cut down on killing hookers at night, though.

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In related news, tea is #13 on the list of Stuff White People Like!