The Tea Exchange Has Moved!

Please find us on our new site: http://afreshbrew.wordpress.com/

We promise there will be plenty of tea!

Cheers,
Karen and Thomas

Fun With Teacups

Hello tea enthusiasts!  Karen here.  As anyone who knows me will attest, I am ALWAYS chasing the latest and greatest. I just have to be on the cutting edge!

(OK, that's a total lie.  I'm the person who refuses to Tweet, only recently got texting on her phone, and whose outdated mp3 player is often mistaken for a Walkman. But for the purposes of this blog let's pretend it's true.)

So of course I also strive to be on the forefront of the tea industry, which involves a lot of heavy Googling. If anyone in the government is tracking my search terms, they might worry about my mental health--although, to throw them off, I do take breaks to search more normal topics like "awkward family photos" and "merengue dog."  (Try it, they're hilarious.)

Anyway, I find a thorough web combing is the best cure for what I like to call the "tea cup blahs." Ever have a day when you just can't enjoy your tea because you're so distracted by that ugly "Diversity Fair 2003" mug you got from an uncle? Can't take your eyes off that unsightly crack in your teacup? Do you spit out your Earl Grey in disgust every time you have to drink from a styrofoam monstrosity? You've got the blahs, my friend.

Not to fear! Tea receptacles have come a long way since the days of hand-me-down mugs from your relatives' work events. Mugs today are not only functional, but also whimsical, artistic, and downright impractical. Which is just what we like. Check out the future of tea drinking!

Looking to give your boyfriend/girlfriend a subtle hint? Try a little bling with your morning beverage.

(reubenmiller's blog)

 Waiter, there's a mouse in my tea!

(LikeCOOL - Coolest Design and Gadget Magazine)

Step away from the sugar and no one gets hurt...
(great funny bizarre)

Why no, detective, I couldn't be the one you're after  Just look at this silly mustache.
(dhyra.com)

Better eat it before he does!
(dhyra.com)

---------------------

Wow, where are we, the FUTURE?  My mind has literally been blown.  While I go clean that up, get yourself pumped for my next installment on the self-drinking teacup!  For the tea lover on the go, now you don't need to actually drink the tea yourself in order to FEEL like you did!

Until next time... drink on!

Greetings all!

From the Official UK Tea Correspondent

Our friend in SF, Karen, kindly added me officially to the Tea Exchange. This means I can now also wax lyrical about mildly-flavoured hot water whilst dreaming about sipping that refreshing brew... (sorry, UK spellings may now invade the blog!)

I must introduce myself at this point: My name is Thomas and I am a young fella from the old country who bumped into that delightful Californian young lady at university. We spent many strange but delightful evenings singing in a choir together and discussing goodness-knows-what. She since then introduced me to her online masterpiece of literature called a "tea blog". Having grown up fuelled by the liquid gold, I offered my services in rendering a British note to the page.

So here I am, offering to write about what is basically a hot drink. I must be mad, but hey, if you're reading it, you're probably a bit mad too! Onto the drink itself...

Ok, soon. Strangely I have spent my last three summers serving reallllly good (local!) ice-cream and waxing lyrical over that, so I have some experience on cheerful flowery writing. However I don't think Butterscotch and Almond afternoon tea, or Choc Fudge Brownie Earl Grey will quite go down in most places, so some adaptation may be required. On the other hand, maybe some ice-cream flavours would work...

Perhaps a delicate lavendar tea would be good, or for a winter warmer a Christmas pudding tea? Licorice black tea is also another I've seen and tasted - odd but pleasant. Tequila and lime white tea could perhaps help celebrate new year, whilst an iced raspberry, strawberry or even lychee green tea would be a wonderful celebration of summer.

Beyond that, I get a little stuck. How, for example, do you combine tea with ice cream of such flavours as Rocky Road, Choc Fudge Brownie or even Coffee? Well the last one is probably a bit OTT, but the rest would be a challenge. If anybody comes up with ideas for how to combine any of the ice-cream flavours I scoop by the way (at http://www.ronaldo-ices.co.uk/napoli.html) then please let me know!

Back to the hot liquid in hand - or not, as I haven't, although it'll be nice when I do - I went to sleep last night thinking about tea, the taste of it in my mouth, not quite awake enough to get downstairs and press the button on the kettle. It's strange, the cravings that come in the night.

Well, I have many teas to peruse and report on later, from Rooibos to Lapsang Suchong and more besides, plus oddities I have noticed about tea, how to brew a better cuppa and my life as a teabag. No, guide-dog. Tea-pot. Anyway, that's for later. For now, know that I'm a bit crazy (aren't we all?), erratic, spontaneous, eccentric, British and, of course, a tea-lover.

Warm tasty steaming greetings to you all from over the Pond then (if you're that side of it!) and until next time enjoy a cuppa!

Your UK correspondent,
Thomas


"... no obvious nutritional value. Mildly stimulating, some say, and with a taste one not so much likes, as gets used to."
- Willis the martian's views on tea, Willis is Barking. (Tina Pepler BBC radio play, 1993)

Sexy Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my!

October is here, and we know what that means! No, not "All Hallows Eve," that pagan tradition of calling forth the spirits of "Sexy Pumpkin" and "Zombie Conan O'Brian" in order to rid the world of as many evil sweets as possible in a single night. No! Of course I'm referring to the return of the Pumpkin Latte at Starbucks.

What? I'm not allowed to talk coffee on the Tea Exchange? I can't help it. There's just something so comforting about a four dollar cup of sugary goodness that tastes like the holidays. It reminds us all that it's almost Thanksgiving...which means it's almost Christmas, which means it's almost New Years, which means--ACK!! the year's almost over, and what have we accomplished except gaining a few extra pounds from all those pumpkin lattes we've been slamming down?

OK, maybe it's time to go back to tea.

Not to fear, caffeine junkies! October is the perfect time to start your new diet and exercise routine. Mine involves drinking copious amounts of sub-par green tea and wandering around the office on my lunch break. Six pack, here I come!

Perhaps it's only the placebo effect, but I think I see a change already. I feel younger, lighter, closer to the earth. I feel like I could start meditating every day, if only it wasn't so boring. I feel like doing yoga. I also have to pee a lot, which I guess is kind of cleansing in its own way. I shall call this THE GREEN TEA CLEANSE!

Join me, will you?

Here are the tenets of the GREEN TEA CLEANSE:

1. Drink a lot of green tea.

2. Drink more green tea.

3. Be cleansed.


...Ok, so maybe it needs a little development. Stay tuned for my next cleanse, the ENGLISH BREAKFAST BINGE! Higher in caffeine and lower in pretention. You're welcome.

Back From the Dead

WOW. I knew it had been a long time since this blog had been updated, but I just realized my last post is dated from DECEMBER of last year... yikes! I think we have taken procrastination to a new level.

It's not for lack of interest! Actually, Mo and I have been batting around ideas for months, each one more ambitious than the last. Trip to the Japanese tea gardens? Let's do it! Tea tasting in Chinatown? Of course! Pilgrimage to a remote Chinese village in order to pluck the very first virgin tea bud of the year, brew it right there in the field and pour it out as an offering to the Tea Gods? Er...someday.

Ok, so let's say we were low on REALISTIC ideas.

Anyway, it's back to basics for me (I'll leave the fancy journalism to Mo). And in my usual rambling style, I'll now attempt to say something insightful while really saying nothing at all.

So my friend Thomas--who I'm now dubbing Official UK Tea Correspondent--just brought it to my attention that I've got some competition in the blogging world. Oh yeah.


Tea or coffee? It is a tea blog.

Now, this first blogger (alias HiddenIdentity8--that's about as creative as NotACop15) takes a straight "tea enthusiast" slant--no claims of expertise, just a young woman who happens to enjoy her drinks hot and leafy. This clearly places us in a different category altogether, since we at the Tea Exchange favor the "pretend to know what we're talking about" approach.


Tea Masters Blog


Unfortunately, the self-proclaimed Tea Master ACTUALLY knows what she's talking about. In her About Me she writes: "A Taiwan resident for 13 years, I want to share what I learn from many tea masters." Er...we at the Tea Exchange have conferred with many tea masters too! (If by "conferred with tea masters" she actually meant "performed a Google search and briefly scanned the results.")

In any case, both are killing us in terms of readership: Blog #1's hit count is currently 16,899, and Blog #2 boasts a readership of 119 followers--not including those who just stumble upon the site in their daily web surfing.

Now I'm no marketing expert, but I figured this is the point where I should try to learn a thing or two from the sites that are kicking my butt. What are we doing wrong? (Besides, you know, only posting once every 9 months or so...let's forget about that for a second).

Anyway, I think I've figured it out; and because I like lists, here's a list:


Things HiddenIdentity8 and the Tea Master
Do Better than Mo and Karen
(Strictly Within the Blogging World--Let's Not Go Crazy Now)

----------------------------------------------------------------

1) Try different teas and write about them.

Um...what? Since when is that the point of a tea blog?


2) Take artistic or whimsical pictures of tea cups.

I can do this too! They've got their garden scenes and teddy bears drinking tea... maybe I need to throw my kettle in the ocean and document its turbulent trip back to shore.


3) Write entire posts in a language other than English.

Iyay ouldcay oday isthay ifhay Iyay antedway. Eesay?


4) Wax poetic on the experience of drinking a particular vintage.

...and as I poured the clear, steaming liquid from the kettle, the glorious stream of water cascading delicately from the spout, I leaned forward and felt my nostrils begin to tingle in anticipation. The leaves released a bitter, tangy aroma reminiscent of freshly mowed grass on a warm summer day. As a light green tinge began to grow and spread across the surface of the water like a butterfly in flight, I closed my eyes and felt myself warmly enveloped by the wings of the angels.


5) Tout the medical benefits of tea.

Why, I believe I did this! Feel free to reference my past expose on the dangers of Tea Mania to our nation's health. Always looking out for you, America! (And a similar sentiment for Britain!)

-----------------------------------------------------------


Now, maybe I've been going about this all wrong. If that is the case, my sincerest apologies to all who have been offended by my irreverence for tea and the fine art of tea blogging. I have learned the error of my ways. Please stay tuned for next week's blog, entitled "Seeping Techniques for Oolong Tea: How Long is Oolong?"

If, however, my inane babblings on and around the topic of tea have managed to brighten your day just a little, drop me a line of encouragement. And stay tuned for next week's blog, entitled "Writing Down Whatever the Heck Comes to Mind."

In the meantime, I think I'll go drown my sorrows in a cuppa. My teddy bear will come too.


**************

P.S. to HiddenIdentity8 and the Tea Master: My jibes are completely in fun. You both have fine blogs that soundly whip my blog's proverbial butt...keep up the good work! (And, by the by, if you want to put my link in a posting one of these days, I would be your best friend for life.)

Not Quite As Planned

The whole idea behind the Tea Exchange, as conceived by its illustrious creators, was that we would travel far and wide, reporting on tea happenings around the world. "How exciting!" we thought. "We can visit tea houses and search out local teas and take pictures and write witty little anecdotes, thereby doing our part to bring the tea world just that much closer together!"

It was a great plan, and in a perfect world, it would have gone something like this:

Cheers from London!
Took Afternoon Tea in the shadow of Big Ben.
Had my first crumpet, was disappointed.






















Greetings from Darjeeling!
Mountain views are lovely, tea is plentiful.
Wasted an hour trying to figure out where that weird smell in the hotel was coming from.
(It was curry.)














1773. Boston, Mass.
Disappointing lack of tea.



Brilliant, right??

Well, except for the fact that we have no money. Tea houses charge a surprising amount for the privilege of sitting on a cushion and/or couch and slurping down a hot beverage that's mostly water, sometimes with the added luxury of a sugar-laden pastry the size of your thumbnail, probably bought in bulk at Costco.

So, alas, most of our tea consumption has been done at home--or (more shamefully) while on the go, drunk from a plastic travel cup that dribbles out the side.

I came to this sad realization while facing a sink of dirty dishes. As I set to scrubbing, a clear pattern began to emerge: Knife. Fork. Bowl. Mug. Plate. Spoon. Mug. Fork. Mug. Bowl. Mug. Fork. Mug. Mug. Mug.

"This can't be right," I said to myself. "Is Mo bringing dishes home from work?" While this supposition wasn't completely off the wall (roughly half of our mugs are from Starbucks), it was clear that something else was at work, that something far darker than Starbucks had invaded our home: Teamania.

There have been disturbing rumors of such a disease--take a look at this very legitimate article! Sufferers may hoard teabags, collect an unnecessary amount of mugs, demand tea at inappropriate times (i.e. during childbirth), and annoy friends and loved ones with facts about which obscure Chinese monasteries grow the best Oolong. In advanced stages, people may experience irrational anger and unexplained bouts of crying when they go too long without tea.

"That's startling!" you may be saying. "How can I find out if I and/or my loved ones suffer from this terrible disease?" Good question! Sadly, research has been lacking, but there are a few warning signs you may want to look for:

• You have more than 10 different types of tea on hand at any given time...and you are the only person in the house who drinks it.
  

• You are often late to work because you just couldn't decide between green or herbal.

• The local coffee shop knows you as "the girl/guy who only ever asks for hot water."

• The local coffee shop has refused to serve you for that reason.
  

• You own more mugs and teacups than silverware, yet are always running out.

• You carry a teabag with you at all times, "just in case."

• You have fallen asleep with a cup of tea perched somewhere on your body.

• You have fallen asleep with a cup of tea perched on your body...more than once.
  

• Your license plate reads, "HotStuf," "BlwOnIt," or "SgrPles," and you honestly meant no sexual innuendo.

• All you've gotten for every Christmas and birthday for the past 10 years is tea, and no one even bothers to ask for a list.

• When funds are low, you hang out outside Starbucks and bum people for their used teabags.

• When you're cranky, people ask you, "Have you had your tea today?" (Usually, you have not.)
  

• The fact that your work has a coffee machine but no tea makes you irrationally angry, to the point that you have contemplated replacing all of the creamer with Exlax.
  

• You have actually replaced all of the creamer with Exlax.

• When you don't have your morning tea, you find yourself ripping out your hair (or someone else's) and cussing at neighborhood children.

• The neighborhood children aren't allowed near your house anymore.

• There's often a nondescript white van parked across the street from your house, and you swear you've seen the neighbors bring pizzas out to it.

• Your boyfriend or girlfriend has uttered the words, "It's me or the tea."

• You picked the tea.
  

• When asked, "Tea or coffee?" you burst into hysterical, high-pitched laughter for a good three minutes. Then you realize they were serious. Then there's an awkward silence, in the course of which you stealthily sneak a few bags of Earl Grey into your purse.
  

If you agree with 3 or more of these statements, you should be very, very worried. Drop everything immediately and hunt down a psychiatrist--preferably one with a good selection of herbal tea in the waiting room. If not, take deep breaths and just try not to strangle anyone.

* * * * * * * * *

...Until next time, tea enthusiasts, drink on!

Tunes To Sip To

Well, I am officially monopolizing the blog by posting four times in a row. But Maureen hasn't found time to blog recently, so she gives me her blessing. And away I go!

I was googling "tea" the other day--as you do--and I came across a blog in which the writer claimed to have an entire playlist devoted to songs about coffee. It's the natural evolution of things, I suppose. We have playlists for driving, for doing homework, for dancing around the living room in our underwear, to amp us up before a night on the town, to sooth our aching heads the next morning, for good moods and bad moods.... So why not songs to get caffeinated to?

I'd been considering making a list of songs about tea (I don't normally think about such things, but when you write a blog about tea it does cross your mind), so it occurred to me that I should probably do some research to see if this noble task had already been attempted. Indeed, it has! (Check out "Coffee Croons & Tea Tunes"). However, the "Tea Tunes" part of the list is sadly short, and in my opinion they kind of cheated by including the same songs performed by different bands. What a travesty!

Clearly, it is my duty as Official Tea Blogger and Enthusiast to compile a new list of Tea Tunes. This is not as easy as it sounds--apparently, tea is not a very sexy thing to sing about (imagine that!). Coffee and cigarettes? Sure. Booze? You betcha. Tea and crumpets? Mmm...not so much. But if I have to skew and misinterpret every song ever written, by gosh, I will compile the most glorious list of tea songs the world has ever seen.

* * * * * * *
Top Twenty Fifteen Ten Songs About Tea!

10) "White and Nerdy" -- Weird Al Yankovic

First in my class here at M.I.T.
Got skills, I'm a champion of D&D
MC Escher, that's my favorite MC
Keep your 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea
That's right--everyone's favorite accordion-playing nerd is also a tea fan! ...I'm not sure that's actually a boon to our image, but the tea-drinking community will take what it can get.


9) "Cup O' Tea" -- Newsboys

Sorry I'm not your cup o' tea
But I don't mind
Yeah, I said I don't mind
At least I know you're thinking about me

Yeah, maybe the song only mentions tea in a metaphorical sense. And it's a Christian rock band, so most likely they're talking about manna in the desert or some such. But I choose to read it as a plea to all those unconverted coffee drinkers out there. Maybe tea is not your drink of choice...maybe the thought of it makes you want to vomit a little in your mouth...maybe you would rather swallow a whole cactus than a cup of chai--but within all that animosity and hatred, weren't you at least thinking about tea? Thaaat's right.


8) "Gee, Officer Krupke" -- Cast of West Side Story

My father is a bastard
My ma's an S.O.B.
My grandpa's always plastered
My grandma pushes tea
Isn't that refreshing? Amidst all this family strife, sweet old granny's still offering around the English Breakfast. What a nice tribute to 1950s America, when families knew how to sit down over a nice, hot cup of tea and really talk to one another. In this day and age when it seems like no one's parents stay together anymore and even dear little sisters are turning into tramps at the tender age of 12, maybe we can all sit down with West Side Story and remember a simpler time--a time of tea-drinking and racial harmony.

(....what's that you say?)

(...."tea" is a nickname for WHAT?)


7) "Pennyroyal Tea" -- Nirvana

Sit and drink pennyroyal tea
Distill the life that's inside of me
Sit and drink pennyroyal tea
I'm anemic royalty
As tea promoters go, Nirvana needed to work a bit on their approach. Pennyroyal, an abortive herb, is not exactly grandma's peppermint tea. Also, the song is kind of depressing. But drugged out or not, we can't knock Kurt Cobain for doing his part to promote our favorite beverage--someone has to steer all those cokeheads in the right direction!


6) "Cups and Cakes" -- Spinal Tap

Cups and cakes
Cups and cakes
Oh what good things mother makes
You've got to take tea, won't you take it with me
What a gay time it will be
Before they began penning such musical gems as "Sex Farm," "Hell Hole" and "Break Like The Wind," England's Loudest Rock Band showed its softer side with this little ditty--an ode to the sweet (and sugary) things in life. Your IQ may drop a few points with each listen, but if you keep a package of chocolate biscuits close by you probably won't notice.


5) "Afternoon Tea" -- The Kinks

I'll drink afternoon tea (afternoon tea)
If you'll take it with me (afternoon tea)
You take as long as you like
'Cause I like you, girl

Leave it to the British. In sheer number of songs about tea (not just mentioning it, but actually ABOUT tea), the Kinks probably deserve an award or something. They also get special mention for using it in the context of a love song...which is, of course, as it should be.


4) "Tea For Two" -- Irving Caesar
(That song you've heard a million times and gets stuck in your head on repeat but you never knew where it came from or any of the lyrics except for "Tea for two and two for tea" and...ARGH! It's so damned annoying!)

Picture you upon my knee
Just tea for two
And two for tea
Just me for you
And you for me alone
Thanks to Ella Fitzgerald, coffee's already the official drink of depression ("My hair is turning grey--All I do is drink black coffee--Since my man's gone away"). It's about time tea took its place as the official drink of love! So fellas, take note: chocolates and wine are so predictable--the REAL key to your girl's heart is a hot cup of tea with lemon. And while it cools, you've got plenty o' time to stare goo-goo-eyed at each other across the table. She'll swoon at your ingenuity. Trust me.


3) "Tea For One" -- Led Zeppelin

How come twenty-four hours, baby, sometimes slip into days?
A minute seems like a lifetime, baby, when I feel this way.

Ok, so the song never actually mentions tea. Which of course means it was too painful to mention--after all, he's clearly pining for another cup! I often feel this way. The hours drag on, my throat gets so parched, my tummy so cold, until--*sob* oh, God!


2) "Tea In The Sahara" -- The Police

My sisters and I
Have the wish before we die....
We have this strange obsession
You have the means in your possession
Tea in the Sahara with you

Funny, this song is not REALLY about drinking tea in the desert...but since when is tea a euphemism for sex? Maybe this needs to enter the common vernacular. It's certainly nicer than much of our current shorthand for doing the deed. For instance: "Would you like to go back to my house and drink tea?" is much more likely to get a positive response than, "Hey baby, let's go to my car and fool around"; "Did you drink tea with that girl?" is less accusatory than, "Did you screw her, you bastard?"; "I saw Johnny and Susie drinking tea in the men's room" sounds less trashy than, "I saw Johnny and Susie humping against a urinal." Learn it, use it, pass it on.


1) "Have A Cuppa Tea" -- The Kinks

Tea in the morning, tea in the evening, tea at suppertime
You get tea when it's raining, tea when it's snowing
Tea when the weather's fine
You get tea as a mid-day stimulant
You get tea with your afternoon tea
For any old ailment or disease
For Chrissake have a cuppa tea

Hallelujah! It's the ultimate ode to tea. Seriously! This song is just so joyous and stupid that you can't help but think, "Gee, a cuppa tea sure sounds nice right about now." Even if you then immediately think, "What the hell am I saying--I hate tea!"--still, the purpose was served. That little seed of doubt will have been planted in your mind, and with each listen that seed will grow, and grow, and grow some more, until eventually it sprouts into a tall, leafy and glorious tea-bearing...plant...thing...of some sort.

And the circle of tea (aka "life") continues.